Feeding Friendsy

Fucking Finally

After months and months, the campaign I've been writing for K-SWISS TUBES featuring Kenny Powers has launched. Been some good response so far. Kanye tweeted about it. So did Pete Wentz. Then CNBC, Huffington Post, and USA Today picked it up. The Funny or Die video just went Immortal. It's been a good day. My team here at 72 is fucking amazing. I don't know how we did it. Enjoy the fuck out of this...

The signing of Kenny Powers to K-SWISS:

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/36a8ceb3f0/kenny-powers-gets-signed-by-k-swiss

More spots here. These are all our "PG" rated commercials. The rated R stuff will launch later this week.

www.KSWISS.com/tubes

My favorite internet meme

 

This one too...

Look who's all grows up.

Gonna be reviewing portfolios at Portfolio Night 8 this week. They do a feature on each reviewer. Here's mine.

My new home page

Extremely enlightening.

K-SWISS films part dos

Check here to see the first round of 10 second tv spots we made for the "Have An Awesome Day" campaign.

Let's get arrested!

I figured the cops wouldn't like a makeshift militia sprouting up in the middle of their fair city. Turns out, they didn't care. Not that I blame them...

(Click picture to enlarge)

Myspace, I wish I could quit you. No, really.

Today, I did something that I just haven’t cared enough about to get around to: I attempted to delete my Myspace account. And by “attempt” I mean that Myspace wouldn’t let me. When I joined, back in like 2005 (which is late by Myspace standards), I used my university email account. That address has since been deleted—the university gives you 6 months after you graduate, then they remove the account altogether.

So, today, when I tried to surgically remove this Myspace mole from the face of the internets it wouldn’t work. It sent a “deletion confirmation” email to my university address. Fine, I’ll change my contact email on Myspace and we’ll be done with it. Not fine, Myspace sent a change of address confirmation email to my now defunct university email account. Which I can’t access anymore. No confirmation, no delete-y Myspace.

So, now, I’m fucking stuck with this thing. For life. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s still there after I’m dead. And I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only person in this predicament. If anyone has any suggestions, let’s hear ‘em.

Krishnas park like assholes.

I’m not an angry person. I’m not. But if you know me, there’s one thing in the world that I can’t stand: Parking. It’s the bane of my automotive existence. I HATE it. Especially around my house. There’s never a spot on the street and, to make the shit-uation even worse, Wednesdays and Thursdays are street cleaning days so you can’t park on half the streets from 8am to 10am, which means you have to get up early and move your car or become the owner of a bright, shiny $60 parking ticket. Nothing makes you want to punch someone’s dick off more than realizing you’ve overslept and will now be donating your hard earned money to the pay check of your local parking enforcement officer.

So, why are there so few spots around my house, you ask? Well, I live down the block from a Hare Krishna temple. So on any given day, at any given hour, they’re down there throwing some sort of smelly event that attracts peace-loving Lexus drivers by the dozens. And to make matters worse, there’s NO parking lot for that place. So, they park their multitudes of luxury sedans and shitty RV’s on the roads in the neighborhood, then reverently walk down the street to whatever crazy Maha Mantra mumbling, vegan food consuming, no shoe wearing celebration they’ve invented for that particular day. Then they proceed to hang out for hours on end, while I drive around the fucking city like a lunatic, searching for a parking spot. All the while, my rage percolates like a dry ice bomb. The worst part is that they’re so consumed with praying and being calm that they’re totally oblivious to the fact that they are generating massive waves of anger and frustration throughout the community. Ironic how their pursuit of tranquility is creating such murderous hostility.

Eventually, one of them ends up leaving, speeding off to their Bikram Yoga class or PETA rally, and I get a spot. But by then, it’s too late. The damage has been done, and I’m in hate with each and every Hari Krishna guy/family at that temple. Of course, I have to walk through their peace bonanza to get to my house. At which point, I’m inevitably asked by some bald-headed, orange toga wearing guy with a ponytail if I’d like a vegan cookie. NO! I don’t want your fucking vegan cookie! I want your parking spot, asshole! Quit celebrating peace and build a fucking parking structure. THEN I’ll have one of your cookies, because as much as I hate to admit it, they look delicious and I’m starving after hours of searching for a goddamn parking spot. And while you’re at it, what’s that mashed potato stuff I saw that kid eating? I want some of that too.

UPDATE: I know I shouldn't revel in this news, but it serves them right. The only bad thing is that now they REALLY don't have money to build a parking structure.

K-SWISS spot is out in the world

A little shameless self-promotion here... the K-SWISS spot has launched! I'm just posting the :60, though most of you will see the :30 all over ESPN, MTV, Comedy Central, Adult Swim... There's way more to the campaign, we made a bunch of :10's for TV that will help blow the voice out a lot more. I'll post those later. Oh, and print too. There's that.

As with everything we make here, this spot plays a big part in the strategy we're employing for K-SWISS. We're setting the table for lots of things to come. They're a rad brand, willing to have as much fun as we are. So, this spot is designed to get you thinking about and, hopefully, liking K-SWISS again. I think it does that. Needless to say, we're really excited about K-SWISS. Can't wait to show everything else we have in the works! Stay tuned for face-meltingness to follow this campaign.

Fake Craig's Post--episode 8

Short, simple, stupid. All in good fun, people. LINK

(click image for larger view)

 

Got a response...

"Sorry that happens. It’s not just white people though. I lived in Japan on and off for years and it’s one of the first questions people ask me when we start talking. By people, I mean black, white, brown. Just chill and roll with it, there’s too much ‘stupid’ in the word to bristle about this…it’s kinda funny if you look at it a certain way, use it to your advantage…"

I feel bad when I get genuine responses like this. Oh, wait, no I don't.

Happy Hour

Every Friday, at work, we celebrate yet another productive week with beer(s). It's a 72andS tradition that has birthed some of our favorite stories to tell the new kids. Stories like the time (someone) threw Beebs' phone across the room. Or the time when (someone) threw beer on Beebs as he attempted to drive away. Or the time when (someone) passed out at the reception desk... at midnight.

And to ring in this special hour, it's tradition for an employee to create a happy hour poster. Which is sent out as an all agency email, alerting the employees that this Friday will be just like all the others and at 5:30 on the nose, drinking will commence.

This is the happy hour poster (video) I made last week featuring Angelo, the producer on the project I'm on at the moment. You'll notice at the beginning, he's falling asleep. Keep in mind, I took this video at 2pm... in the mix down session. Thanks to Eric for helping me with the video editing magic.

Headphones on or speakers up, please.

Hell, here I come...

And then there's this one...

How to know when your landlord is insane...

My friend Megan passed along this insane back and forth she had with her current landlord. Before you read it, a little background for context: Chris, the landlord, gave Megan a discounted rent rate because he needed to fill the apartment. Then, Chris asked Megan to move to another apartment in the complex so Chris could have her apartment. She agreed. So, now, Megan lives in a new apartment and Chris lives in her old one, in the same complex. This switch happened about a month ago. Up until this point, there were no issues. Rewind to the morning of Jan. 26th. Megan gets a surprise text from her landlord...

Chris: I want my fucking keys back today along with all my fucking lightbulbs

Chris: Nevermind I got my lightbulbs back if u have a problem with that u can move out and fuck off!!!

Chris: And no I know your boyfriend took them the first time also

Megan: Whoaaa what the hell is going on?

Chris: U know what? Now that I think about, I want u out!

Megan: Chris, what are you talking about?

Chris: Ask your fucking boyfriend about it and if he doesn’t come clean with me u r outta here immediately! If he fessed up, I’ll consider letting you stay. Call him first and find out for yourself. Just remember u can’t pull this shit off on me!!

Megan: you’re just raging on me and I’m confused, what the hell did I do? I didn’t take ur bulbs.. I’ve tried to help u doing ur whole ordeal and now this? If u want me out for some reason bc u need someone to move in or something just be honest.. But freaking out over lights I don’t even know anything about isn’t fair

Chris: Plus I can get fucking $1,200 for that place. I’ve giving u a break and this is the shit I have to deal with?!!

Chris: Call your boyfriend and ask him for a honest answer. And dove give ne that shit I’ve fucking helped u just as much if nit more than you’ve helped me!

Megan: Yes, I’m not saying you haven’t I’ve always appreciated all you’ve done. Please just stop yelling at me.. I know we got some bulbs at home depot but I will find out if he took any from the house. I don’t like being threatened, it sucks.. I’ll start looking for a new place and you can start the pain of looking for a tenant.

Chris: The point Megan is that you or your boyfriend are coming in here without permission and stealing my fucking lightbulbs and then denying it! What the fuck else did this motherfucker steal from me???

Chris: It won’t be painful. I’ll fill in a sec.

Megan: Whoa. First, it was still out lease when we left. And if anyone took your lightbulbs I didn’t know about it. Cool, well I will be out as soon as I find a new place.. No more then 30 days.

Chris: It’s really sad that now I have to go and change my locks because I have a thief.

Megan: It sucks it had to be like this chris, you didn’t need to freak out on me. And u don’t have a thief that is just nutty to even say.

Chris: The lease was month to month. And I still haven’t gotten an answer weather you boyfriend came in here and took my lightbulbs? I’m waiting, he’ll probable lie to u anyway. Sad that you r getting kicked out because your boyfriend won’t come clean. Oh well that how liers and thieves operate

Megan: I haven’t got a hold of him.. We are both working.

Megan: I know the lease is month to month.. I still get 30 days notice.

Chris: You may think it’s nutty but lightbulbs don’t just grow legs and walk out of here! I really liked you too Megan but this crosses the trust boundry. No u may not know anything about this, but your boyfriend does. It’ll be interesting to see what he tells you. Just remember I am a very foregiving person, as long as I hear the truth and get a face to face apology.

Chris: And yes u still do get thirty days. If u want more then u better get your boyfriend to fess up!!

Chris: Let him know too if I catch him in here, I’m going to shoot him

Megan: Whoa chris. U need to chill.

Chris: I’m sorry but that is how I’m wired. I can be a fucking nightmare.

Megan: okay okay.. well I have to work now.

Chris: Just to let u know I may hide here with my car parked somewhere else with the lights here off waiting, hoping for someone to come in

Megan: To your house? Chris. No one has stepped foot into your house after I moved out. If anyone took the lightnulbs it was when I was still living there. So please just stop with these nonsense.

Chris: Whatever

Chris: If that is the story u r sticking  to then I’m giving u ur 30 notice now.

Megan: I’m not sticking to any story.. If he took them then I will apologize and say I’m sorry for confusion and sorry we did that.. Either way tho, I’ll move out bc I don’t feel comfortable of safe with the kind of threats and anger you are displaying over this. It’s scaring me.

Chris: that is probably best

Chris: I’m sorry that u r scared, but ur boyfriend ducked with the wrong person. We need to settle up on money as well today

Chris: Fucked

Megan: No one is fucking with u chris, that’s what ur not getting.

Chris: I just need my money and we’ll call it a day.

Megan: Yep, I think I’m going to try and move my stuff out in the next day or so.

Chris: Great

Chris: Get’er done!

Megan: Hi chris, I’d like to settle exactly what I owe you and what you owe me now so I can leave u and check and you the same. I owe you $875 for January rent. I spent $245 on paint. And I will pay for the mirror bc I never told u it had a crack in it when we moved in and the crack got bigger when I was living there. So can you write me a check for my deposit minus those things and put under your mat and I will leave check under there too? Or however you want to exchange?

Chris: I need the receipt for the paint or I cannot credit u. $245 sound high to me. I want to see the itemized receipt before u can issue u credit as we had discussed many time before

Chris: I will also be deducting the 5 lightbulbs that were taken by your boyfriend when u were in Hawaii. That comes out an additional $25.

Megan: No problem at all. I have the receipts. The painters told me I hadn’t bought enough paint and told me exactly how much more I needed to get. Then they had lots left over.. Which I’ve stored under the sink if u ever want to make touch ups in the apt or use for something else.

Chris: Fine just give them to me

Megan: Chris, if my boyfriend took the lightbulbs, it was not when I was in Hawaii, it was the weekend I moved from 410 to 408. No one has stepped foot in 410 since Sunday the 17th, a day before we agreed to have everything out of there.

Chris: Don’t put anything under any mats it’s supposed to rain today

Megan: But I will pay 25 because I’d rather do that then continue arguing about it. But I want to make sure you understand that no one was in your home after the 17th. And I would like to ensure you do not go into 408 until I move out again. I will not raise issue that you did this morning without my permission, all you did was take the bulbs correct?

Chris: Whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore. I know that he went back in again yesterday or the day before yesterday and took more but you r on your way out anyway so be it.

Chris: I’m changing my locks now so he can’t come in anymore.

Megan: Chris, that is 100 percent not true. He absolutely did not. I can assure you.

Chris: I’m not even going to answer that question.

Megan: Why do you possibly think that?

Chris: Who the fuck do u think I am? I don’t do that shit only your boyfriend does

Megan: That’s what you’ve been accusing this entire time? I had no idea you thought he went in this weekend, I can assure you he did not.

Chris: Well then y did or he has the woll pulled over your eyes as well.

Megan: No on has anything over my eyes, you are the one who has it all wrong. Why do u think someone took your lightbulbs this weekend? I thought we were talking about the weekend I moved out. Not me or my boyfriend stepped foot in your place. That’s just insane.

Chris: Well I guess I’m insane then and you will be gone in a few days and we never had to see or talk to oneanother for the rest of our lives! Sound good to you?

Megan: I would prefer to sort everything with u via mail or mail boxes, I’m not comfortable to see you in person so please respect that when I come to move my things out okay?

Chris: Absolutely, but I’m not comfortable giving u ur sec. deposit back until after I’ve see the apt. U could really damage the place and screw me. Or your boyfriend might. Please respect my wishes.

Megan: Chris, my boyfriend never entered your home while you were living there and I would never damage a thing. I want to be done with this more then anything else. You have threatened my boyfriend in a way that could get you in a lot of trouble and entered my house without permission. So let me move my things without confrontation and part ways.

Chris: And as a matter of fact that is the way the transaction should have been done. You need to pay me $1000 now for the month of Jan. If u r out of here on Jan 31, then I will check the apt for damages to be assessed. When everything checks out I will refund u ur sec dep., reimbursement for paint and materials. Minus the lightbulbs and settle up.

Chris: So get that check for $1,000 to me asap! Thank you

Megan: The month of January was 875 as we agreed before I moved.

Chris: Fine, send me the check today

Maybe This Will Work

As I said earlier, for some reason all the fake ads I've put on Craig's List lately have been flagged and removed. Which sucks, because the funniest part of doing these stupid things is the responses I get from people. Maybe this one will work...

Me vs. Craig's List Episode 6

I don't know what it is... but I can't keep a post up for more than 15 minutes anymore. Either Craig's List is getting smarter about fakes, people on CL are getting more anal, or I'm just becoming a worse writer. Probably a little of all three...

Fun with Urban Dictionary

My latest contribution to Urban Dictionary. And to be fair, the other side.

Here's another that Cody and I made up.

Me vs. Craig's List Episode: 5

This time, I exorcise my inner red-neck. Click to enlarge the picture.

Christmas Cards from the Christmas Creep

The Christmas Creep returns with tidings of joy for some of my buddies. Ti's the season to be a weirdo. Click the smaller pictures to enlarge.

The internet has a bad attitude

Just for fun, I Googled the title of the "post whose title I shall not speak" and got this result back.  Evidently, the internet was NOT a fan of my fake CL baby post. And judging by the reaction, I'm not even sure the internet is very smart, considering that it didn't get the joke in the first place. But, it did get a handful of Digg votes. Win!

On a lighter note, I also Googled the title of the tank post I wrote and found this. Fun! I guess the internet isn't all bad.

This is why religion is creepy

I don't even know what to say. Just watch.

Also, check out the Christian websites this guy builds. They'd be stupid if they were a joke. But they're not a joke, which makes them epic.